The Scariest Thing I've Ever Done

I recently got back from EDC Las Vegas, which was my 7th year bringing art to one of the biggest festivals in the world. This was also my biggest year ever. 

I was commissioned for a brand new experience, converting a school bus into an art car. I was also asked to bring back my other art installation, so I was responsible for building and activating 2 experiences at EDC. In fact I had an entire zone dedicated to the theme of my work which centers around video games and glitches. I set a goal years ago to take over a larger footprint at EDC so this was everything I always dreamed of. 

Weeks leading up to the event I experienced an overwhelming sensation of fear. I started to think about all the different ways things could go wrong and how terrible it would be if I failed. I also thought about how amazing it would be to bail on one of my art installations and just focus on the other in order to preserve my sanity. In the last 7 years I’ve experienced a lot of challenges and hardship that has pushed me to my limits. I began spiraling and obsessing about the worst case scenario. 

I let myself sleep on it, then talked to my wife and some of my closest friends. They all provided amazing support and helped me regain the confidence I needed to push forward. It was a fleeting moment that also deserved the attention I gave it. 

EDC was overwhelming, exhausting, stressful and everything I’ve always dreamed of. By far it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done professionally and also the most rewarding.  

I’m learning to have a healthy relationship with fear. I don’t think I ever accomplished anything significant without taking on something scary. I’m not sure if it has to be this way, but there seems to be a pattern. 

In the book How I Built This, the author asks, “is it scary or is it dangerous?” It’s worth asking yourself that question as you face a scary situation. If you’re not facing real danger then maybe it’s worth betting on yourself. 

How do I face my fears? 

1. Preparation - I prepare by playing out every possible scenario while also leaving room for surprises. This is a key learning for me. I can’t allow myself to be thrown off by surprise scenarios, they happen all the time. 
2. Grounding - I check in with myself through meditation and set intentions of how I want to feel and make others feel. 
3. Support - I lean on others that know me well and are familiar with my goals and ambitions. They always pump me up and offer help when I need it. 

If you’re getting ready to take on something scary just know it likely means it’s something worth going after. If you need support and encouragement to go for it, you know you can always reach out.